A new life and a suicide

Following a brief meeting with Ghamkhori (about which we’ll post something in a later blog entry) we split into groups to visit several different communities... this entry relates to one of the later visits.

We visit the village of Hioti Nav (transl. ‘New life’) in the Bokhtar district of Kurgan Teppa. It’s a large village with a population of around 3,000 people and as we travel along the muddy pot-holed roads, children run in front of us and a cow bucks and runs toward the car (she’s in milk and protecting the calf behind her). The car stops outside the community room where the local Mahalla Committee* meet and we’re ushered into an empty room.

About 20 minutes later the nine Mahalla leaders enter the room - it’s been a busy day for them with a wedding and a funeral to oversee. There’s no electricity so it’s hard to see peoples faces but what is clear is that this is very much a traditional community as all the members are men. We talk to them as a group about the issues of the village. As ever, it seems to be health, water sources, and education at the top of their list of concerns.

They explain that whenever someone is sick in the village they have to take the person to 13km to the nearest doctor’s surgery. With no transport, they are forced to pay 20 Somoni for the trip and that’s before the cost of treatment and medicine (see our interview with Ghamkhori’s Director of Health for more on the issue of prohibitive healthcare costs).

‘How you treat the doctor [with money] depends on how he will treat you.’

Ill health in the village comes from water borne diseases. Despite being within the city catchment area, people have no access to clean water. They have ideas and solutions – this is a community that wants to see change. But they cannot afford to pay for a borehole (US $2,500 – US$4,000) and even if they could they don’t have the electricity to power the pump. With many of the stories we hear from these people, it seems they are frustrated at every turn.

We’d heard on the way over that there had been a suicide in the village just a few days earlier. It’s difficult to get underneath such heart wrenching stories and so we ask the MC members to tell us more. It becomes clear that this is a very sensitive event and they did not want to elaborate on what had happened.

But we were keen to find out more and understand why this had actually occurred. The translator tells us that he’s overheard a side conversation and that the committee members had not been giving us the full picture. Later in the day a senior woman in the community, Guliston, invites us to her home to explain the story...

Bibi was 24 when she killed herself. She’d been married at 15 – a common occurrence following the civil war as parents would marry-off their daughters in order to prevent them being raped. A year ago Bibi’s husband left to work in Russia leaving her pregnant and with three other children to look after.

Her baby boy was born four months ago and although her husband was sending money home, everything was being used to on a family house that her brother-in-law was building. Bibi was staying at her parent’s house worrying about money and worrying about her husband’s absence. Her parents had also gone to Russia for work and so she was alone with just her sister for support.

Post-natal depression took hold of Bibi and she became increasingly distressed. One day after feeding her child, she left the baby with her sister and went out into the street in her wedding dress. She was behaving strangely and dancing. Family members were asking what was the matter with her.

She travelled several kilometres to her sister-in-law’s house so that she could speak with her husband on the phone. She pleaded with him to come home and help her or to take her to Russia with him. All her worries about the house, the money, her future spilled out over the phone. Her husband said jokingly that she should take the children to her sisters then drown herself.

Shortly afterwards Bibi hung herself from a window.

Her body was discovered by her sister. Bibi’s funeral was yesterday and the future for the children is not certain. Her story is one of poverty. The bleakness of her situation. The necessity for men to emigrate in order to work. The lack of appropriate post-natal care in the first few months of her baby’s life. And the despair of being left with four children and no money.

Comments

[Rob Hargreaves]

Sadly stories such as Bibi's are common and earlier communications trips have highlighted the strain that around 2 million men migrating to Russia for work can put on their wives and families.

The men migrating often experience great problems with the Russian authorities (local staff passing througn Moscow have expressed concern as to how they are treated by officials for being Tajik).

Due often to the low wages the men may earn, many men are only able to send back small amounts to their families, whilst others are robbed of their money before re-entering the country.

It would be naive to believe this was always the case and some men choose to remain in Russia for extended periods and send little or no money home, or attempt to start a new life in Russia.

Ultimately, the wife and family in Tajikistan suffer as a result of the need for husbands and fathers to seek work due to so few opportunities in Tajikistan.

We can only hope that the situation improves but the light at the end of the tunnel is very faint indeed.

[Tahmina Khakimova]

Unfortunately, this is what often happens in our (Tajik society). The issue of suicides and Self-immolations of women is a big problem. There is no solution to it or we don't know what to do yet.

Either women go for trafficking in women, commit a suicide, do the self-immolation as a form of protest against violence against them. There is a big issue of domestic violence also in Tajik society perpetrated by not just husband, but mother-in-law in particular.

Thank you for writing every day the stories about your visit to Tajikistan which makes me cry because I don't know how we (Tajiks) can solve our social and economic and political issues.

[C&K]

Having read your blog we feel stunned by it all - the cold, the poverty, everything. So much to talk about on your return. Stay warm, stay safe, all love to Frances (and the rest of the team) from Mum and Dad.